A poem for the New Year. Surrender.

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“A Necessary Autumn Inside Each”

You and I have spoken all these words, but as for the way
we have to go, words are no preparation.  
There is no getting ready, other than grace. 
My faults have stayed hidden.  One might call that a preparation!
I have one small drop of knowing in my soul.  Let it dissolve in your ocean.
There are so many threats to it. Inside each of us, there’s continual autumn.  
Our leaves fall and are blown out over the water. 
A crow sits in the blackened limbs and talks about what’s gone.  
Then your generosity returns: spring, moisture, intelligence, 
the scent of hyacinth and rose and cypress.  
Joseph is back!  And if you don’t feel in yourself the freshness of Joseph, be Jacob!  
Weep and then smile.  Don’t pretend to know something you haven’t experienced.
There’s a necessary dying, and then Jesus is breathing again.
Very little grows on jagged rock.  Be ground.  
Be crumbled, so wildflowers will come up where you are.  
You’ve been stony for too many years.  
Try something different.  
Surrender.

(Rumi, Mathnawi I: 1878-1912)

On New Beginnings

This weekend marked the official beginning of my journey to become a yoga teacher–though I started down this path nearly 8 years ago. The past two days of intensive asana practice and study of yoga history were more than just a starting point, they were a springboard. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt this energized and excited about the work it will take to achieve my dream. Energized is almost too weak a word though. I am so FIRED UP and cannot wait to wake up tomorrow and work on my peacock pose, crane, handstand and so many other asanas that challenge the heck out of me but make me feel so alive. Not to get too deep on y’all here but this poem pretty perfectly summarizes my feelings at the moment and I’m sure many of you can relate:

For a New Beginning

In out-of-the-way places of the heart,

Where your thoughts never think to wander,

This beginning has been quietly forming,

Waiting until you were ready to emerge.

For a long time it has watched your desire,

Feeling the emptiness grow inside you,

Noticing how you willed yourself on,

Still unable to leave what you had outgrown.

It watched you play with the seduction of safety

And the grey promises that sameness whispered,

Heard the waves of turmoil rise and relent,

Wondered would you always live like this.

Then the delight, when your courage kindled,

And out you stepped onto new ground,

Your eyes young again with energy and dream,

A path of plentitude opening before you.

Though your destination is not clear

You can trust the promise of this opening;

Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning

That is at one with your life’s desire.

Awaken your spirit to adventure;

Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk;

Soon you will be home in a new rhythm

For your soul senses the world that awaits you.

-by John O’Donohue